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Dave Barry.

Guide To Marriage And/Or Sex

Introduction

Why Men and Women Have Trouble getting Along

Chapter 1. How To Find Somebody To Go On Dates With And Eventually Get Married To Who Is Not A Total Jerk

How to Develop A Psychological Profile of Your Ideal Mate

The Singles Scene

How to Get into A Spontaneous Conversation

Some Good Opening Lines

What the Woman Should Do If She Is Not Interested

Meeting People through Personal Ads

Meeting People Through Clubs and Organizations

Meeting People at the Office

Tips for Gals: 13 Common First-Date Warning Signs That a Guy Might Be a jerk

Dating

Who Should Ask Whom for the Date

Four Fun Things to Do on a Date

Things You Can Talk About on a Date

Falling in Love

Chapter2. Living In Sin

Moving in Together

The Most Serious Issue Likely to Come between a Man and a Woman Living Together

What Men Have to Do about This

Recipes for Guys

Chapter 3. A Frank, Mature, Sensitive, And Caring Discussion Of Human Sexuality With Dirty Pictures

Special Advance Warning to Decent People

The Major Male Sexual Organs

The Major Female Sexual Organs

Answers to Common Sexual Questions

Necking Tips for Guys

Heavy Petting

Solid Advice about Condoms

Where to Get Additional Explicit Helpful Information on Sex

Chapter 4. Breaking Up Or Getting Engaged

How to Tell If You Are Compatible with Somebody

Money

Children

Housework

Recreation

Sex

Religion

Family Crises

Current Events

Alternative Method for Stupid People

How to Break Up

Chapter 5. Important Prenuptial Chapter

Low-Cost but Fair Prenuptial Agreement

Tips for the New Bride

Chapter 6. How To Have A Perfect Wedding No Matter What

Diamond Formation

How Diamonds Are Measured

Your Wedding Gown

Bride’s Wedding Planner Checklist

Six Months before the Wedding

Five Months before the Wedding

Four Months before the Wedding

Three Months before the Wedding

Two Months before the Wedding

One Month before the Wedding

Two Weeks before the Wedding

One Week before the Wedding

The Wedding Day

Pranks

The Honeymoon

Thank-You Notes

Chapter 7. Newlywed Finances

Household Money Management

Credit Cards

Your Checking Account

Your Home: Buying vs. Renting

Chapter 8. How To Argue Like A Veteran Married Couple

Chapter 9. Children: Big Mistake, Or Bad Idea?

What It Really Means to Be a Parent

Where Can I Find Decent Affordable Child Care?

How Children Affect Your Sex Life

Chapter 10. How To Have An Affair

How You Can Tell If Your Spouse Is Having an Affair

Chapter 11. How To Put New Life Into Your Marriage Or Else Get A Divorce

Divorce

How to Select a Lawyer

Grounds for Divorce

The Divorce Proceedings

Starting Over after the Divorce

Index